Well. This isn't the most cheerful post.

About two weeks ago, we made the extremely painful decision to have Sookie put to sleep.

After spending a weekend with my little niece and nephew, it finally dawned on me...We wouldn't EVER be okay with having Sookie around kids. Even if she improved leaps and bounds with training, she would still remain a dog with poor bite inhibition, who we knew for a fact had extreme issues and WOULD bite when afraid. How could we let a dog like that around children? How could we live with ourselves if she ever hurt someone?

After many hours of talking and tears, we decided the best thing would be to take her to the vet. We couldn't expect someone else to accept the liability if we ourselves could not, and it would have been inhumane to just put her in a shelter where she would be terrified and ultimately put down because of her temperament anyway.

We were able to be with her the whole time, and it seemed to be very peaceful. She was such a good girl.

I really miss her.

Sometimes, I really just want a Sookie-style face lick or cuddle session. When I get out of the shower, I still somewhat expect to see her lying on the floor towel waiting for me. And I miss her whole body-wiggle tail wag. I miss her.

But, I think it was for the best. Gatsby has been so much more calm...I didn't realize how much of an effect she was having on him. We are able to do so much more now, and we are trying to appreciate it. We took Gatsby down to Dead Horse Beach at low tide and let him off the leash to run around. He really enjoyed frolicking in the water and chasing sticks and seagulls. To be honest, he doesn't seem to be grieving. I actually think he likes having our undivided attention again.

Well, I raise a toast to my Sookie-girl. We really loved you and miss you a lot. I hope wherever you are now, you have found the peace you couldn't find here.

<3

Up and Down

I am a terrible blogger, huh? I'm sure it will only get worse once school starts. Oh wellll.

Sookie was having a great few days! And now a tough couple of days. I was so proud of her! We were able to walk past a dog and many other distracting noises, and she kept her focus on me without reacting just two days ago. But then yesterday, we back-slid a little bit when she freaked out at a passing golden doodle. Today we haven't had any incidents, but she was just super on-edge when I took her out. It's frustrating.

So I took Gatsby to the dog park for the first time in Salem, and the first time in many months! I was hoping it would be empty since it's so hot and muggy today, and it's a weekday. It wasn't totally empty, so I almost didn't take him in; but, after doing some training on leash on the path, I decided it would be OK. And he did great! It was too hot for any of the dogs to get into any real mischief, and the few other dogs there were very friendly and well behaved. It's always a relief to see how well Gatsby can do out in public, and it's relaxing for me to remember how easy it can be. We got to practice some recalls (with peanut butter as the reward!) and he did very well. Now he is totally sacked out and panting like a fiend.

I think about Sookie a lot, and what the "right" choice is with her. The trouble is that I really love her, and there are many ways that she is a great, loving pet. I really wish we had a yard; I think that would make the situation seem a lot less terrible. I guess I keep coming back to the fact that she deserves to be loved and cared for, and we made the promise that we would do that when we adopted her. Obviously, public safety is more important, but I think that we are doing everything we can do to keep her under our control, and until the balance is tipped to the point where I think there are more risks than benefits, I have to keep working with her, and loving her, and caring for her.

I read this article in the August issue of Yoga Journal about the philosophy of compassion and it has been popping up in my mind every time I reflect on Sookie. In the article, the author talks about a parable where a farmer has repeated ups and downs, and they all build on each other (ie, his horse runs away and everyone says how unfortunate he is, but then horse comes back with a whole herd of stallions, and everyone says how fortunate he is! But then his son is injured riding one of the wild stallions, and everyone says how unfortunate! But then there is a draft for the army, and the son does not get recruited because he was injured, and everyone says how fortunate! And each time the farmer responds, I do not know yet if I am fortunate, or unfortunate, all I know is my horse is gone right now/I have a whole herd of horses, etc). And I guess the moral of the story is that we never really know why certain things happen to us, and where exactly they will lead us. So instead of reacting to every thing that happens to us, we need to respond with compassion, and also a certain amount of indifference. We can only control our own actions.

I do not know yet if I am fortunate or unfortunate, all I know is that I have a troubled dog who needs extra love and training. And I do not know yet where that will lead me.

The Cono-saur - the love interest of the Veloco-raper?

So Alex and I went out for delicious crack-tastic Lobster Rolls on Sunday evening. (I have to say, besides the stunning views of the harbor, that amazing slightly salty air smell, and being able to walk to a beach - the availability of fresh lobster mixed with mayonnaise for a reasonable price is a serious perk to living in coastal New England.)

So we're sitting in the outdoor section, minding our own business, when I can't help but overhear the person at the next table over order a Sow-vinyon blank. And I don't mean "sow" pronounced like "sew a quilt"; I mean, "sow" like a female pig that rhymes with "cow." And blank, as in "He's shooting blanks," rather than the more-correct blonk, as in, how they say white in French.

I suppose I am more picky about French pronunciations given that I studied abroad in Paris and majored in French in college. But I can't help it! That is just WRONG. I'm not asking for a snooty french accent while you say it. It's OK, we're in America, so you can say it American-y, but it's So-vin-yon blonk.

Sow-vinyin blank just made me have a Hyperbole and a Half moment, where I imagined that it was a cow or pig or other large disgusting farm animal drinking wine from a glass.

The kicker was that immediately after ordering said sow-vinyin blank, this girl then states that she is a wine conosaur. A wine conosaur? Like....a dinosaur? That knows a lot about wine? Now I've got an image in my head of a scary t-rex with a glass of red in one of his stubby little arms pouring it on top of a cow/pig.

And I'll bet that he really likes his wine, Alot.

Of course, then Alex announces that he might leave me for the fries we're eating. They were just so tasty, he decided to have a love affair with them. I said, me too! Maybe we should have a menage-a-tross. Get it? Like menage-a-trois?

Now there's a kinky albatross joining my previous t-rex, cow/pig duo.

I have to stop reading so many archived posts of Hyperbole and a Half, but like I already said...that's like telling a crack addict to stop doing so much crack. It just ain't happening until I run out!!!

There are giants in the sky

Woowee, quite a few things have changed since my last post! Which is why I haven't really had time to update. First of all, I got a JOB! So I have been working part-time as a photographer at the JCPenney Portrait Studio in the Northshore Mall (Peabody, MA). This totally means I am hitting my photography goal this summer! It's been cool, but simultaneously boring so far because I've been stuck doing a lot of computer-based training. This week I actually get to play with the camera and take people's pictures! We'll see how it goes!

I also managed to secure a PAID flute job in the pit orchestra for "Into the Woods" at Salem State College. This week we had two rehearsals and four performances. So the first half of the week, I was thinking - oh crap, I suck, what the hell did I get myself into?, I can't handle this! Because it was just awkward and it didn't sound good, and I blamed myself. However, then I realized a few things: a) the singers are frequently coming in early, and it screws us up because we have to jump ahead; b) no one is actually conducting! of course it's difficult to follow every line! the music director is playing the piano the whole time, and bopping his head; c) all the other players are actual musicians (music teachers) and they're having trouble too...so, it's not just me! And I'm not a professional musician.

After that, I started to feel pretty gosh darn good about myself. And also, it's starting to go a lot better. There are still mistakes, of course, but overall it sounds decent and I don't feel like I'm totally screwing up ALL the time anymore. So it's been really fun!

On another note, I got an unlimited summer yoga pass for July and August at Green Tea Yoga in Salem. It's a really nice studio (much more relaxed and accepting than the other one I tried). I haven't been going nearly as often as I want for the fact that it's unlimited, but I have been going at least twice a week and that feels awesome. Here is a big ole' check mark next to the yoga goal!

AND we started the dog training class with Sookie on Tuesday. I actually missed it because I had rehearsal, but Alex went, and we got a bunch of materials and tools to start working with. One big part of the training is using a "mat" - (we got a small cheapo area rug from Lowe's and cut it in half - one for Gatsby and one for Sookie). This week, we are just click/treating for the dog coming over and touching the mat, then click/treat for sitting down, then click/treat for lying down. Then you just continue feeding while they lie calm on the mat. The goal is to eventually take the mat with you on walks so they have their special place to lie down and be calm instead of going bezerk when other dogs pass. We are also doing "About Face" - to turn around 180 degrees (as a tool to avoid things that stimulate aggression), and "hand touch". That was a really cute one. You just put on your hand and click/treat at first when the dog shows any sign of interest in your hand. After that, you move on to click/treat for a hard nose bump to the hand. I put out my hand and Sookie just looked at me intently. Then she sat down and wagged her tail. Then she started getting a little anxious because she had no idea what I wanted, so she flopped down on her belly and wagged her tail. Eventually she FINALLY turned her head toward my hand, and once I could click/treat twice in a row, she figured out what I wanted and was able to touch her nose to either hand consistently. It was just really cute while she was learning and doing all her tricks in an effort to get her treat :)

I'm also happy because we managed to find a fairly secluded place to walk the dogs. We have to drive over and then walk, but it'll be nice to get Sookie some stress-free exercise.

That's all for tonight, but a little preview of what's to come....

Alex has been very supportive of me writing a blog (and he might start his own!!!), but he did also say to me the other day...."You should make your blog funnier."

Wow.

Thank you, Alex! We have both been reading Hyperbole and a Half like we are addicts, and it is crack (so if you're not reading it, you really should start: http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com) So in a very "Allie"-like vein, the next episode will contain a new creature called the CONO-saur.

Get excited!

Post-Birthday

Hola cyberworld! I promised some photos, so I will post a few. But of course, if you are actually interested in looking at my pictures, you should take a look at my flickr page.

On Monday, I had a lovely first day of summer when I went out and about on my bicycle shooting some pictures, and then reading happily at the beach in the sunshine. For my birthday, Alex got me this fantastic new bike that I just love because it's really comfortable to ride. And it has a bell!!! And a basket!

Yesterday was actually my birthday! Twenty-five! Eep, that's like a real adult sort of age, huh? Even the car insurance companies think so! Apparently my brain is fully formed now....Funny that it feels exactly the same! We all know that I've been actually 85 since I was 17, so maybe that's why...

Anyway! Rambling alert! I had a very relaxing day yesterday - got my nails done, read at the beach some more, watched a movie, and had delicious Thai takeout with my honey while we watched So You Think You Can Dance! A perfectly delightful day.

I'm not sure how to narrate my "photography" posts....so without further ado, here are my four faves from Monday.

"The Clammer 1"

"The Clammer 2"



"The Clammer's Tools"

"The Clammer's Trail"

Fail!

I haven't been doing very well with writing so far have I? (I think that's how I start every single one of my hand-written journal entries - "It's been a long time since I last wrote....") I will try to do better. Although, I don't really have anyone to whom I should apologize yet, since I haven't exactly publicized this blog. I suppose I apologize to myself for being a slacker.

The yoga goal hasn't been going so well since my last post; I really want to kick it up a notch. Or ten, since my yoga practice as been basically nonexistent. BUT, I have been working with my dogs!



Cute, right? Yeah - it can be misleading! Some of you may know that Sookie (the white one on the left) has some pretty serious issues. I'm not really going to get into that now. The tips the trainer gave me are helping to a certain extent, but it's too soon to tell.

Gatsby (the black one) is also a total butthead; but he's a harmless butthead.

Anyway, I've been working with them on two obedience type "tricks" that I thought I could write about. Let me just remind you all that I am NOT a dog trainer, and I have no clue if what I am doing is really the right way to train a dog. That said, it seems to be working anyway.

The first one is "heel right" and "heel left." This is a fun one, because it's easy to practice every day while we are out on walks. Gatsby really loves it. He will do ANYTHING if there is food involved. (If there's no food involved, he figures that out pretty quickly and completely ignores me). But he seems to get particularly excited about this one, like it's a fun game. Sookie is crazy while out on walks, so sometimes she'll do it and sometimes she tells me to F off.

It's a simple trick. I tap my left or right hip and say "heel left!" (or heel right) and then use a treat to guide Gatsby's nose to turn around and sit facing forward at my side. Then we'll walk forward and then stop and sit. So far, it's going very well!

The other one I'm doing in the house is "Take a Bow." This one is a really cute trick, but a little bit hard to get the dogs to do. I'll try to post a video once we are successful. Again, Gatsby seems to REALLY enjoy learning it because it involves so many delicious pieces of cut-up chicken and he seems startlingly proud of himself when I praise him for doing it right. I read a little bit about how to do it online. Essentially, you take a treat and place it down between the dog's front paws and then move it toward the back paws to get them to bend, and perhaps keep an arm under the belly so they don't lie down all the way. Then take them back to standing and give lots of praise! (and click/treat).

One bit that I will add: I realized very quickly that I needed to start by teaching my dogs the command "stand up." We have them very well trained that if they want a treat, they have to be polite and sit at attention. So every time I showed them a treat, they automatically sat down, making it hard to work on the bow. So we started with just "stand up!" and click/treat for rising to all fours. That command also made it easier (especially for Gatsby) to keep him from lying down all the way. So he stretches back in the bow (click/treat) and then "stand up!" (click/treat). That way he knows the exact place to stop bending, and then to come back to all fours.

Ta-da!

So this isn't the most thrilling entry if you're not into dogs, but don't worry! The next post will be about photography! I went out and shot a few pictures yesterday around my 'hood. Once I'm done editing, I'll post a few here!

Until then, auf wiedersehen!

Entry, the first

I'm jumping onto the blog band wagon a bit late here, but alas...here I am. Jumping on. I figure it's something to do, and hopefully a way to get myself writing on a regular basis again. Maybe this way, when I start school in the Fall I won't sound like a total moron when I have to write papers and pretend to know what I'm talking about.

Hence, the "eclectic" title. I thought about what I might want to write about, and realized that one topic probably won't keep me entertained. So I figure I'll share thoughts on my three major goals for the summer: training the two wild beasts otherwise known as my dogs; doing yoga on a regular basis; and working on photography.

Today, I hit one goal! I went back to yoga class. I tried an "Anusara" yoga class at a new studio here in Salem (new to me, because we just moved here). The studio was nice, large, and seemed to be very popular! The teacher was described on the website as a "loving and knowledgeable kick in the pants." ....which just about sums it up. The class was a little competitive feeling for my taste, just getting back into it. But it was certainly a good workout. This class might be good for me once I build up my strength, because the instructor really doesn't accept "no I can't do it" - he tells you to take yourself seriously, and have faith. Sometimes I need a little bossing around...and it resulted in me doing a headstand today! So that was pretty cool. The only trouble is now I am SORE ALL OVER! We'll see if I go back to that particular class next week....

Namaste!