The Cono-saur - the love interest of the Veloco-raper?

So Alex and I went out for delicious crack-tastic Lobster Rolls on Sunday evening. (I have to say, besides the stunning views of the harbor, that amazing slightly salty air smell, and being able to walk to a beach - the availability of fresh lobster mixed with mayonnaise for a reasonable price is a serious perk to living in coastal New England.)

So we're sitting in the outdoor section, minding our own business, when I can't help but overhear the person at the next table over order a Sow-vinyon blank. And I don't mean "sow" pronounced like "sew a quilt"; I mean, "sow" like a female pig that rhymes with "cow." And blank, as in "He's shooting blanks," rather than the more-correct blonk, as in, how they say white in French.

I suppose I am more picky about French pronunciations given that I studied abroad in Paris and majored in French in college. But I can't help it! That is just WRONG. I'm not asking for a snooty french accent while you say it. It's OK, we're in America, so you can say it American-y, but it's So-vin-yon blonk.

Sow-vinyin blank just made me have a Hyperbole and a Half moment, where I imagined that it was a cow or pig or other large disgusting farm animal drinking wine from a glass.

The kicker was that immediately after ordering said sow-vinyin blank, this girl then states that she is a wine conosaur. A wine conosaur? Like....a dinosaur? That knows a lot about wine? Now I've got an image in my head of a scary t-rex with a glass of red in one of his stubby little arms pouring it on top of a cow/pig.

And I'll bet that he really likes his wine, Alot.

Of course, then Alex announces that he might leave me for the fries we're eating. They were just so tasty, he decided to have a love affair with them. I said, me too! Maybe we should have a menage-a-tross. Get it? Like menage-a-trois?

Now there's a kinky albatross joining my previous t-rex, cow/pig duo.

I have to stop reading so many archived posts of Hyperbole and a Half, but like I already said...that's like telling a crack addict to stop doing so much crack. It just ain't happening until I run out!!!